long time

I am so bad at procrastinating.
It's been nearly a month with no new posts.
Well here we go....

Baby Declan got sent to the hospital for pneumonia and meningitis and is now home and good as new. Stepmom cut her elbow and needed stitches a few days ago, didn't get them because Dad said she would be okay and she stopped bleeding once they were in the ER. I was a cat for Halloween and the only person at my work to dress up. I took a picture with a storm trooper. I got a new Sherlock book where it is my fantasy husband against Jack the Ripper (again. Nerd. Don't judge me.) And i recently uncovered some information about my past during a school report that I'm glad i found but also wish I hadn't.

Basically, busy busy and I shall try to continue posting here when I can.

Family Matters

Family family, oh so crazy family. I have now two of them.
One real flesh and blood family and one that my friends created at school.
Both are dysfunctional.

Let's start with the friendly family. One friend, Justin, is the son of two others, Rachael and Shawn, however, his father is Jesus. His sister is my mother, Sally, and im adopted with my father being Tom Felton due to a one night stand. Sally's husband is Bret. Both of them have opposites in Colton for Sally and Jen for Bret; meaning i have two mommies, and two adopted daddies with Draco Malfoy being superdad who's never around cause he's too busy being a pimp. My husband is my uncle Justin and is black. we are the parents of Tom and Stephanie.
Apparently, those two love each other very much to where Tom raped Stephanie (not really) and produced Molly. They then got along and had the gay twins, Justin and Wesley.

I wish my real family was that simple.
My parents have been divorced for almost ten years and oh, my lord, the drama will NOT end!
My mom keeps taking dad to court for who knows what, my sister hasn't seen our dad in over 5 years even though the court had ordered it; making both my mother and her in contempt of court. Then there's the fact that my brother is now following in her footsteps and hasn't seen our dad in about 4 months to which, big surprise, another court date is in progress.
Mom obviously favors one sister, whether she knows it or not: its obvious to everyone else. same sister is a drama queen and thinks my other sister is the favored one. That one has autism and it's just of dramatic chaos involving "you love her more" types of situations.
I'm trying really hard not to feel that way or just to stay out of the cycle but it's really hard when i have rants up the wazoo begging to be unleashed like the demons out of hell with the fury of a million angry uterus.
Dad is remarried to my wonderful step-mom and has two more younger brothers for me to love and snuggle and i really really wish they didn't get dragged into all this and that i can somehow keep them out.
Not that easy.

Can't I just draw for the rest of my life and block all this out? It's not my problem but i'm in the middle..
i just want to go on with my life without all of this emotionally charged chaos. You  may not like what I'm doing but i'm an adult and i can make my own choices. You can let  me be my own person, make my own mistakes and be happy.. Or. there's always option two...
Bite me.

I hate fighting with people. I hate being upset with people. i have rants and built up negative feelings inside me to the point where it hurts but I want to keep stomping them down so they won't be seen or showed.
I just want people to get along and be happy.
I hate when my sister and I don't get along. Whether because she just doesn't like me or because she feels like she's better than me or i'm too immature to be her older sister... idk.

But lately i've been feeling like this toward my sister....

Forever young

I refuse to grow up and you can't make me.
Even my little brother agrees that I should never grow up.

If that won't work.. I'll just track down Doctor who and kidnap myself as a kid.

Small mistakes. Big fails

It started out in English class... When I turned and saw a spider dangling in front of my face.
I screamed, and shot back into the wall on my chair (it was a rolley chair) and continued to spaz out making everyone in the room think I was on some sort of drug.
Did I mention that it had been dead silent in the room right before this happened?

Then at work I tried to save a falling cup of chili. Not only did I miss and end up falling flat on my face, hurting my hip and wrist... To add to all that fail.. The cup I was trying to save was empty.

So. Much. Fail.

I feel like this was my life today.

Eric... and Ducks

He bit me the other night. i just remembered that as i spent the last 12 hours or so trying to figure out where this bruise on my arm came from.

its a really dark cool bruise but still.. he bit me!

I'm also currently unsure of how to react to the statement my sister just made to me about my yellow sweater.
She said i look like a duck.
on a similar note... My dad said i looked like a giant marshmallow peep.

Yeah... so the last time I'm wearing this sweater for a while.

Poor Kitty

I went to pick up a friend to go to school today and as soon as I parked in her driveway to wait, her cat hopped onto the hood of my car. Once there, he started to walk onto my windshield.
I had forgotten that it had rained earlier so my wipers were still on but were on the lowest setting so they didn't move much.

Until the cat walked onto my hood.
He ran in place trying to avoid the wipers and ended up flying off the car.

I couldn't help myself. I laughed. Hard.



The cat was okay. Just very upset with me. My friend even laughed when i told her.

Apparently, I'm good at dying

Yup. I'm good at dying. Seems that's all I'm ever good for now when I volunteer for a friend's movie, not that I mind. I've been a disembodied head for a ghost, a zombie or "decrepit dead", and then I've been Casey Becker from "Scream" and got killed for a homework assignment. Not to mention the plans for another movie which, guess what? My character dies.

It's lots of fun so i don't mind. :)

And there's another idea my film friend, Ashley, is bouncing around for a modern day Alice in Wonderland. Should be lots of fun and I get to be the white rabbit! Yay!

So dying last night was interesting. Mainly because we weren't filming, only doing still shots. So i had to hold the pose and face until she had her picture. Mostly easy until it came to facial expressions. It got difficult then because Eric, our Ghost face, kept making me laugh when i was supposed to be scared.
That, and it always appeared as if i had a bit of a "Derp" face when i was trying to act terrified.

At one point Ashley was quoted in saying "You look like a retarded squirrel."

We went hunting beforehand for the Ghost Face costume and all the while Ashley was fangirling. "Scream" is her favorite movie so acting it out was making her dreams come true. Lots of laughs and stabbing with a plastic knife.
Eric got to play two parts: Ghost Face and Casey's boyfriend, Steve, who dies.
We had waaaay more fun than we should have taping Eric to that lawn chair on the porch. We had to tape over his mouth as well and then for added effect, I put ketchup on his face for the blood. Totally convincing. More so than the red scarf which served as his entrails once he died... just looked like a scarf on his lap.
To get his scared expressions Ashley told him "Beckie is your girlfriend and she wants to have sex with you!" His face was hilariously convincing even though he knew we were joking.
Eric was the best Ghost Face ever. He had the perfect build and totally made me unafraid of him. If I'm ever really attacked by someone in a Ghost Face costume i won't be able to not laugh. I think one of the best moments came about when we were almost done and Eric was growing tired. Ashley said "No giving up yet. Now you have to strangle her..." Eric's eyes lit up, he looked at me, then back at Ashley. "Really?! <3" Ashley nodded and he got this adorable grin before putting his mask back on and clapping "All my dreams are coming true!<3"
Oh, Eric. You and your love for "Beckie abuse". But i know you do it because you're slightly twisted and care.
Then there was the cold wet grass at 2 am that i had to lay on when it was below 40 degrees. i had to lay on it, roll around on it, and then get dragged on it. My back and everything else attached was numb.
I hate the cold with a passion.

Another thing... Why the hell does she lose the knife but keep the phone? I was holding that phone for a good five hours! Really... Drop the phone and punch him in the face! not that hard! losing the phone frees up a hand to fight him off and possibly save your life! but noo... you have to keep the phone with you. What if you miss that call you've been waiting for?

But it was an amazing night spent with my friends. I wouldn't have anyone else kill me :)